koilwood

l o g

8.5.26 - Little Note 2

It has been difficult to understand if I am following a tempo at all in this time of life. There are hours where it does seem there is a routine to things, but other times the days pass on as a familiar glance. Often I am reminding myself of the importance of sleep and silence over what used to reign supreme. I find that the world is more honest when it's slow to rise, still and spreading. There are important days this month which require me to put myself into a mode of routine but I am trying to submit to the reality of what I can offer without creeping into a territory known as dissolving. To accept what it is you can do, what capabilities you have, and to reject the anxious tendency of change. There was an oversight which will lead to a pivot of next years plans. I can only accept the options now and work toward that peaceful future in my own way. A small consideration I've pondered on recently is an addition to Koilwood, a notes system which could share some of my studies about various topics, though it would most certainly be more of a chalkboard system than a clean formatted essay section. I'll work toward these things alongside other important events this fall.

7.24.26 - Unwinding

White wishes are flinging from a tree, swinging in the wind. Deepen, deepened strength. Travelling across the water the sacrifice is simple, clarity, the air feels like it pushes away from you. Things will deconstruct when you bind them. Preparing for a new experience, surrendering to another spirit, passing by.

5.2.26 - Not Yet Passed

Goodmorning angel, saint, mad demon feather, all that lie before me. The world has not yet passed through me as I had dreamed. This voyage toward true union is kept tightly in the vines of my heart. All that lie before me. I wish to keep it as a guiding light, pointing toward a familiar shape, a shape that fizzles into a white arrow. It is just as easy to get lost as it is to be found again, and I have found myself just this once through a moment of morning simplicity. Currently W.G Sebald takes a small place on my rug amongst my scattered ring of elements. Directly in the circle I find myself thinking of freedom, real freedom as it is, the escape from binding and the joining of emptiness and silence. But softly, I roll back into the routine days, for there is better for the skin there and worse for the soul. My hands will keep reaching upwards to the shape of that arrow, sliding back down to the bounded world.

5.2.26 - Long Drive, Egg Yoke Sun

The supernatural has become real again. Time spent indoors and time spent outdoors, all of the seconds looking at the sun, through the windows and through the clear crystal eyes. I've read it all over again, the wind floating through both ears, I've read the words that once were said, unrecognizable versions of the past. I've taken the time to say yes to all without thinking, so the motion of time cannot quite reach my conscious mind. The trees are clearly shown at the end of the tunnel. we passed right through it. And this is how it feels to be a serpent sliding beneath the heat of the sun. The supernatural, all becoming real again.

2.20.26 - Little note

Such a long and sleepy world

2.20.26 - Saturn All In Stones

You should be free from all that is requested and return yourself to all that is necessary, all that is required. Once acceptance of that neutral being comes full through you, all of the world becomes a color once more, and your eyes are open to the truth internal. The truth external. All of the layers of the world collide in such a way as to create an image which represents each individual element, exchanging the heat and energy of each corner and fusing them into what you might call 'The Figure'. The Figure is a vision, a dream of all that came and comes, and it slips inside us all to sleep and become new as the sun rises and falls. For us, it is a cosmic force which antagonises and transforms, and if we are alive truly, we will struggle. We will struggle in our advancement to a final stage, and finally we will rid ourselves of that ending state and decompose, into a new and blooming birth. It has always been this way, and all that hangs on to the old way will die with it, out of the gravity of the world. Pulling you under into the stones of the dead world.